Be Sure You’re Right, Then Go Ahead

Courtesy of Tom & Dave, I’ve received an advance copy, perhaps the only advance copy, of this year’s Socialist Party … uh, Democrat Party … National Convention schedule, beaming into your living rooms this fall from downtown Charlotte via the Party’s media auxiliaries ABC (Always Bashing Conservatives), NBC (Never Bashing Communists), and CBS (Crowning Barry Sovereign):

4:00 PM   Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
4:05 PM   Singing of “God Damn America” led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM   Pledge of Allegiance to Obama
4:15 PM   Ceremonial ‘I Hate America’ led by Michelle Obama
4:30 PM   Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire, Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM   Al Sharpton Leads Castrati Choir in Singing, “Great Balls of Fire”
5:00 PM   UFO Abduction Survival, Joe Biden
5:30 PM   Eliot Spitzer Speaks on “Family Values” via Satellite
5:45 PM   Tribute to All 57 States

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